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Don’t Ask for Invite Addresses on Facebook: Here’s Why

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It seems like every other week, I see another post about a friend getting married. And they usually include a Google form for addresses to send wedding invitations. Now, I’m not saying that these are bad. It is a quick and efficient method when you need to send out your wedding invitations or save the dates. It has worked great for many couples.

However, let me point out a few reasons why this may not work as well as you think. I’ll also share my best tips on how to go about getting addresses and sending out wedding invites. But first, who should even get an invitation?

Who Should You Invite to Your Wedding?

This will largely depend on what type of wedding you want. If you plan to have a small, intimate wedding, you’ll likely invite close friends and family. But if you want a big wedding, you may invite extended family, family friends, coworkers, and more. 

But a good list to follow is the closest family first. These will be people who you want at your wedding no matter what. 

Second, I recommend inviting family and friends who have had some influence in your life. And thirdly, any other friends who may or may not come but you would enjoy having there. 

In addition to people you should invite, consider people who won’t get an invitation. Perhaps someone you have set clear boundaries with, people who might ruin the event, or if you want a child-free wedding.

This leads us to why you shouldn’t ask everyone to send you an address for your wedding invitations.

Avoid “Send Me Your Address if You Want an Invite” Posts

I’m sure many of you have seen posts that look a little like this. “Hey friends, I’m getting married and I need addresses! If you want an invitation to my wedding, please add your address to the link below!”

Sound familiar? Well, here’s why I don’t like these kinds of posts and what you can do instead.

Impersonal

Firstly, asking everyone on Facebook to send you their address is so impersonal. How does someone know if you actually want them there or not? They may think you just sent them an invite to be nice. 

You could have thousands of Facebook friends, maybe even some you don’t know very well or haven’t talked to in years. Do you want their addresses, too? You never know. 

Also, some people who send you their addresses may expect an invite. But maybe you never planned on inviting them. So if they don’t get one, it could cause some drama. Watch out!

Inaccurate Representation of Guest List

Along those same lines, some great aunt or distant relative may want an invite but not actually plan to attend. Most people these days don’t RSVP either, so how can you accurately plan how many people you invited will actually come? 

Asking for everyone’s addresses may save time for those you want to invite. But it doesn’t mean they’ll show up. Or, you could get more addresses and people who want to come than you can actually fit. Some venues may have a guest limit, so you also don’t want to over-invite.

Not Everyone Will See the Post

Furthermore, you may get a hundred addresses but miss the ones from people you want to invite. Not everyone uses Facebook or gets on regularly. 

Many people may not see the post. So, just because someone didn’t add their address doesn’t mean they don’t want an invitation. 

How Do You Get Addresses for Your Wedding Invitations?

So, if making a generic post asking for addresses for your wedding invitations isn’t as great as it seems, what can you do instead? 

Curate a Guest List

My advice is first to make a curated guest list. Go through your Facebook friends and write down a list of people you would like to invite. 

You can also think about how likely they are to come. Maybe they live out of state and wouldn’t likely travel. 

And then think of people you would like to send an invite to even if they don’t come. This would include important people in your life, like a mission president, your favorite aunt, or your childhood best friend. 

Private Message Your Address Request

Once you have a guest list, you need to send the invites, right? But we don’t live in the 90’s. We don’t have phone books, address books, or a rolodex anymore. But everyone has a phone or social media. 

To make it more personal, privately message each person you want to invite. Tell them you are so excited to have them there. Ask for their address so you can send them an invite. 

Send Digital Invites Individually

Additionally, you can just send a digital invite to reduce waste, save money, and save time. Of course, you’ll likely have some people you still want to send a physical invitation to. 

Some couples also create a Facebook event page in addition to physical invites. This way, guests can stay up-to-date on wedding events, locations, and registries and can even RSVP. 

In my opinion, these groups often work a little better than wedding websites. Most people can find them easily, will get notifications about the event, and it’s a little more interactive.

I Have the Addresses, Now What?

Finally, once you have received an address from everyone you want to invite, it’s time to send them out. Get your cards printed, stuffed, and sealed. Write all the addresses on the envelopes and take them to the post office. 

Also, remember that wax seals can’t go through the post office’s machines. You’ll likely need an outer envelope and pay extra for them to go through the mail. 

We hand-delivered many of my invites to people who were close by. This was an awesome opportunity to see them and invite them in person. They could also ask questions, and we could give a few more details than what was included on the cards.

Now that you have your invitations done, don’t forget about finding the right photographer in time. Check out some tips on how to choose the right one.

Are you about to send wedding invites? Let me know! I can hook you up with people who can create custom invites, help you find free templates, and choose designs. Leave a comment below, or go to my contact page to receive your personal love letter from me!

Best wishes, Laurel


Send a Love Letter