Something borrowed, something blue, right? Well, who would have thought your something blue came after the wedding? Many people feel post-wedding blues after their big day.
Disappointment, regret, sadness, emptiness, and other strong feelings may follow after your wedding day. Many people on newlywed Facebook groups have been experiencing the same.
So what are the wedding blues and how can you beat them? Read on if you are feeling this way. Share this with a friend who recently got married. You never know who might feel this way too.
What Are the Wedding Blues?
The wedding blues come for many reasons and people experience them in different ways. Generally, it refers to sadness, disappointment, or mild depression after getting married. It’s important to remember that these are completely normal.
Many think they’ll have eternal bliss after the wedding day (and many do). But that bliss and happiness can be counterbalanced by sadness, anger, and even anxiety. There is an opposition in all things, right?
Is It Normal to Feel Sad After Your Wedding?
Yes, it is very normal to feel sad after your wedding. However, we hope that sadness is not about who you married. Regret about getting married is not the same thing. But regret about having a wedding reception is totally normal.
Many people don’t even get a chance to enjoy the day, which can feel devastating and cause a lot of regret. But don’t feel bad for having emotions. It’s okay to not feel totally happy after your wedding day. It can be a big change and a lot of stress, which can impact you negatively.
Why Do People Experience Wedding Blues?
The wedding blues can come from a myriad of reasons. Some include disappointment about the way things went during the day. Or it can come from family drama, stress, or exhaustion.
Additionally, after spending so much time planning the wedding, it can feel weird to suddenly be done with it all. For many, they have dreamed of their wedding day their whole lives. When the day finally comes it can feel like a loss of that dream (even though you gained it).
It is like the end of an era. This can be compounded by the day not being the fairytale you always wished it to be. Reality checks hurt.
For me, my wedding day was full of stress and disappointment, from being stranded and having to hail a taxi on the street, to my husband’s family arriving late and missing the sealing ceremony. I was a mess that day. And all those regrets still haunt me.
Read my article on how I almost caught on fire to learn about more wedding regrets.
So what can you do to beat the post-wedding blues?
How Can You Get Over Wedding Day Disappointments?
Getting over wedding day blues is a process and may take time. Each person will cope with these feelings in different ways. Here are a few that might help you navigate your emotions and cope with events.
Journal
This is the best tool I have to help you overcome your wedding blues. Journaling can help you talk about everything that happened and what you feel about it.
Be honest with yourself as you write. Don’t be afraid to say anything, as this is a private way to express yourself.
While journaling, the Spirit may help you find resolutions or peace about things.
Eventually after expressing your anger, sadness, and anything else on your mind, start to journal the opposite emotions.
Express your joys, gladness, and excitement. Write about the best parts of the day. This is a vital step in focusing on the good instead of the bad. But it may be hard to do that until you get all the other things off your mind and on your page.
Talk to Someone Who Wasn’t There
Sometimes it’s nice to have a third party to vent to. Talking to someone else who is unbiased about the events can help you put things into perspective.
They can also simply provide a listening ear. You can also talk to newlywed Facebook groups or support groups so you can stay anonymous. Feel free to join this one for Latter-day Saint Newlywed Wives.
Talk to Someone Who Was There
It may help to talk to a few wedding guests. Ask about their experience. In my case, my wedding guests said it was the best wedding they had ever attended. They had a great time and didn’t know about any issues.
They helped remind me what a great time we had. And they even pointed out things I hadn’t noticed. This helped me come to terms with my post-wedding blues. While we can feel disappointed that the wedding didn’t go as planned, we still had a lovely day.
Find Ways to Cherish the Day
Beat the wedding blues by finding the sun. What were the best parts of the day? What was most memorable? Who were you glas was there? What stories about your wedding day would you want to share with others or your future children?
Then look through your wedding photos and point out good things: your groom’s face when he saw you, your mom crying, the joy in your eyes, the fun dancing. Hang those pictures up around your house.
You can also ask guests for any photos they took. They may have captured moments your photographer didn’t. This can help you see the party through their eyes and remember the good things that happened.
Let Your Emotions Free
It is good and necessary to release all your emotions. Cry, scream, punch a pillow. Allow yourself to grieve and process those feelings. It will take you much longer to recover if you don’t.
However, you should also allow yourself to move on. Get excited about something new. Set new goals. Work toward something else. Moving forward is key.
Remember that your wedding day isn’t the only best day of your life and doesn’t have to be. You have many more best days to look forward to.
Give Yourself Time and Grace to Beat the Wedding Blues
It will take time to get over the wedding blues. Because of the importance of the day and how much time and planning went into it, you may have a hard time forgetting quickly.
It has taken me over a year to get over the disappointment and regret of my wedding day. I get stuck on “what if,” “if only,” “I should have,” and “why did this happen.”
But trying to laugh about them and think of them as funny stories to tell in the future can help. Remember that other people don’t care about your wedding as much as you do. So try not to get so hung up on that.
Pray and ask for God to help you forget and forgive. He can help you move past those feelings of regret, anger, and disappointment.
And forgive yourself. You can’t change the past, nor could you have done anything different than you did. The wedding blues won’t last forever. It’s normal to feel that way.
Find some new goals to work on to help you move forward with love and peace about the day you married your true love.
Your happily ever after awaits. It’s not the end of the story, it’s just the beginning.
Love, Laurel
