Dearest friends,
Between planning a wedding and planning a life, you may forget some important details. The chaos that ensues after you get engaged may muddle the spiritual preparation. Getting ready for a marriage and a temple sealing is a lot more work than planning a wedding. So what are you missing?
Today, we’ll go over the things you should do with your fiance before your temple sealing. Let’s get your marriage off on the right note before you say “I do.”
What Is a Temple Sealing?
The temple is the house of the Lord. In this sacred building, we make covenants (sacred promises) with God that bind us to him and bless us. A temple sealing marries a husband and wife for time and all eternity. Till death do you part has no meaning.
In the sealing room, you and your partner kneel on an altar. An officiant called a sealer, who has special priesthood authority, will perform the ordinance (ceremony). You will also have two witnesses, male or female. The words of this ordinance are sacred and only shared within the temple.
Before the ordinance begins the sealer may offer some words of advice for the couple. Family members who are endowed and worthy of a temple recommend may come into the sealing room as your guests. This can include family and close friends. However, space is usually very limited.
President Russell M. Nelson said, “Celestial marriage is a pivotal part of preparation for eternal life. It requires one to be married to the right person, in the right place, by the right authority, and to obey that sacred covenant faithfully.”
You can read more about temple sealings here.
When Can You Start Preparing for Your Temple Sealing?
You should start preparing for your temple sealing before you start dating. Crazy thought right? But how much better could the experience be if you prepared your life spiritually before you get to the temple?
If you are already endowed, continue going to the temple, think about what wearing the holy garments means to you, and study about the temple ordinances.
President Russell M. Nelson said in a General Conference talk in 2021, “And to each of you who has made temple covenants, I plead with you to seek—prayerfully and consistently—to understand temple covenants and ordinances. Spiritual doors will open. You will learn how to part the veil between heaven and earth, how to ask for God’s angels to attend you, and how better to receive direction from heaven. Your diligent efforts to do so will reinforce and strengthen your spiritual foundation.”
What a powerful commandment and promise from the Lord through his appointed mouthpiece. You can prepare for the temple throughout your life by keeping covenants already made.
Additionally, once you decide to get married, you and your partner can prepare together for the sealing and your marriage. Set goals and make plans together about the important ways you want to live your life. So what should those goals be? Let’s look at a few suggestions.
Things You Should Do With Your Fiance Before Your Temple Sealing
While making lists for wedding preparations, add some of these items. Remember that spiritual preparation has a more lasting impact than the flowers or colors you choose. Here are nine things you can do with your fiance before your temple sealing.
Pray Together Everyday
This was one of the most precious moments I had with my fiance when preparing for marriage. We would kneel together every night and pray for each other, our families, our goals, and our difficulties. We would seek the Lord’s guidance and help.
Make this a habit as soon as possible, whether you call over the phone or pray together in person. Kneel together before the Lord and pray for each other, for revelation, and for your future marriage.
As you draw closer to the Lord you also grow closer together. And praying together can help you feel peace and assurance during the difficult times you will face before marriage.
Have Daily Scripture Study
Photo by Cassidy Rowell on Unsplash
Like the advice above, having daily scripture study can help you prepare for your temple sealing. Immersing yourselves in the word of God can help you receive revelation together as you prepare to form a new family. And hearing each other’s testimonies and insights can help you grow immensely.
Forming this habit before you live together can make that transition much smoother. You may also choose to study about the temple and learn more about the ordinance you will make with the Lord.
Go to the Temple Together Regularly
Go to the temple together as often as you can. If one or both of you is not yet endowed, you can still go and perform other vicarious work. Spending time in the house of the Lord can strengthen your relationship and commitment to be worthy of the temple throughout your life.
Doing this while engaged sets a precedent for the kind of marriage you want to have. It can also help prepare and fortify you in special ways.
Some people think they shouldn’t perform proxy sealings before their own sealing. However, that is not true. And in fact, it can help seal in your mind the words and covenants you will make to each other.
Additionally, if you are not yet endowed, work with your bishop, the Lord, and your fiance to prepare for this special ordinance. Getting endowed before your wedding day can help take some of the stress off and prevent you from feeling overwhelmed.
Then go back to the temple together. Sit together in the celestial room and feel the presence of the Lord.
Take Institute Classes Together
If you have institute classes available to you, attend one together where possible. This can help you learn together. You may choose to take the “Preparing for Eternal Marriage” class.
However, you can also take this class before getting engaged or even dating. It offers amazing insights, advice, and prophetic direction. Take notes for goals you want to have in your marriage.
Or you can take any other institute class. But doing so together can help you bond, learn, and prepare to have a celestial marriage.
Talk About Finances
Another important part of preparing for your temple sealing includes temporal needs. Talking about finances together is very important before getting married, especially when planning an expensive wedding.
Discuss ways you can manage your finances together as equal partners. Make a budget, plan upcoming expenses, and how you’ll save money. Starting a new life together will be expensive, from finding a place to live, furnishing it, groceries, college, cars, and other things.
Set your expectations as soon as possible. Also, make a commitment to each other and to the Lord to pay your tithing first and regularly.
Serve Each Other
One simple thing you should do with your fiance before your temple sealing is serve each other. Find ways to do kind acts for one another.
You can help relieve some stress off each other’s shoulders. Doing this will also help you learn each other’s needs better. Selflessly serving the person you love most in the world will lead you to more unity.
“The Family: A Proclamation to the World” teaches that “husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other.”
But this pattern of loving, serving, and caring for each other should also form the basis of your relationship before marriage as well. The habits you form now will continue after that special day.
Spend Time With Each Other’s Family
When you are sealed in the holy temple, you connect two people and two families. You will become linked to your spouse’s family through time and eternity. The past generations of your spouse’s family will join yours. Thus, you can imagine the multitude of angelic forces cheering you on.
This eternal family bond is very important, and as such, spending time with your new family is vital. Forming good relationships with your in-laws is so important. It can help strengthen your marriage.
However, I am aware that not everyone has this privilege due to family circumstances outside your control. But to the extent that you can, begin now to love, get to know, serve, and spend time with your fiance’s family.
This can also help if they are not able to be inside the temple for your sealing. Build a relationship of love and respect with them as early as you can.
Talk About Fears
Another important thing you should do before your temple sealing is go to each other and the Lord with all your fears. Talk about your worries, stressors, and anxieties. Form plans to take on any challenge you may face.
Decide now what you will do if those fears become realities. Learn to support each other and listen with empathy and love.
Additionally, try to understand where those fears may come from and take on their burdens. Then go to the Lord and ask Him for help. Pray, study, and work to go to the temple with great faith and trust in the Lord’s will and plan for you.
Counsel With Your Bishop
I wish I had the opportunity to counsel with my bishop and my fiance before marriage. Unfortunately, in my situation, the language barrier made that nearly impossible to do effectively. But I encourage each of you to go to your bishop with your fiance for counseling.
As your ecclesiastical and spiritual leader, they can help you prepare for your temple sealing and your marriage. They can give you advice to help you stay on the covenant path as a couple and a new family. You can also discuss with him any fears, questions, concerns, and desires.
You may also choose to go to a premarital counselor apart from your bishop. This can really help you start your marriage off right, whether you have concerns or not. You may learn how to better communicate, live, and adapt to your new life together.
Don’t Forget the Lord When Preparing for Your Temple Sealing
When in the throes of planning a wedding, don’t forget to put preparing for your marriage on your to-do list. These tips can help you start on the right foot. Put the Lord first in your relationship, as you do He can draw you closer to each other.
One of my favorite analogies I learned in Institute is the relationship pyramid. At the top is the Lord. You and your spouse make the bottom two corners. As you move closer to the Lord together the distance between you becomes smaller.
Keeping your sights on Him and having an eternal perspective throughout your life can fortify your marriage and your family. Forming these celestial habits will bless you and help you find happiness in your difficulties. Don’t forget the Lord, as He will never forget you.
Love, Laurel
